From what I’ve heard from many around me, in 2022, life got… let’s say ‘pretty darn deep’ for a lot of us.
This journal is a short one. I half laughed reading it, because things totally did get crazier. But good news, I made it out alive! I can’t quite say I handled all the crazy in the best, most perfect, most zen way–and I’m not really sure that’s the point. What I can say, is that I grew through the crazy and chaos, and I accomplished more crying last year than I’d done in the rest of my adult life.
And some might pity me, but looking back, one of the biggest feelings I have is gratitude. Gratitude for having gone through so much healing and so much letting go. And on the other side, I know I’ve become a better, wiser, and even happier person because of it all.
Also, I have to say, as I searched for an image for this post, there were so many beautiful/artsy options to choose from when I input the word ‘chaos’. It made me realize, chaos is beautiful when perceived in the right light. I then came across this thunderous waterfall, and realized the answer to finding peace within chaos might be to mentally step outside of it. If you’re under a waterfall, you may be worried for your life and not able to see its beauty. But outside of it, you see an insane rush creating the most miraculous transformation. And that’s when you recognize, beauty is found not just in the rainbow after the storm, but in the process itself.
But let’s not kid ourselves, transformational beauty is not necessarily easy or fun. Though that’s not to say it can’t be with the right perspective 🙂
Dear Brave Soul,
Below is one of my personal journal entries, and as such, I’ve not written it with the intention of an audience. I’ve decided to share some of these reflections with you based on two desires:
1) to remember I am not alone — sharing my raw thoughts and being vulnerable may allow me to connect with others who have similar thoughts/feelings/experiences (aka, I’d love to hear from you!)
2) to remember I am not my ego — I believe we all have a right to share our opinions. However, for much of my life, even still, it’s been difficult for me to express myself out of fear someone will respond negatively. Being vulnerable and opening up with my potentially esoteric, or even controversial, thoughts is me facing that fear, and I understand it may very well cause my ego pain.
To note, these entries are largely unedited, though if I’ve added/clarified anything, you will see a ‘[…]’.
Sincerely,
my Dying Ego
March 11, 2022
Oh this world. I’d like to ask if it could get any crazier, but that sounds like a dangerous question. Maybe a better question might be: can I find peace alongside the chaos? Do I have to submit to the idea that it’s even chaos? Maybe it’s just this whirlwind energy, that I can see in a different light. A powerful energy that I can harness by approaching it with calmness.
Author Bio: Hi, I’m Bethany! Over the past 12 years, I’ve been on a winding journey in search of healing. I created Love myHealth as an outlet to share my story and empower others. I’m passionate about all things health, but what intrigues me most, is the healing essence of an empowering mindset. Some of my favorite things in life include acro yoga, walking under the stars, life-changing conversations with strangers, and food (most notably: gluten-free pizza and nice cream.)