I struggle to get out of bed some mornings, or I suppose all mornings on a certain level. Most especially when I’m in a depressed state, but since college too, it’s been more of a mission to get myself ‘up and at ’em.’ In this journal, I was totally giving myself a much needed pep talk and having a brainstorming sesh on how I might get out of bed more timely/happily.
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Now months later, I’m still not quite where I’d like to be energy-wise (I’m aiming for the feeling a kid gets waking up on Christmas Day!), but I think these positive reflections I had have helped made an impact.
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Also, to note, I’m not sure I’ll ever figure out ‘the ocean’s game’ as I reference in my metaphor, but maybe that would take the fun out of it all anyway?!
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Dear Brave Soul,
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Below is one of my personal journal entries, and as such, I’ve not written it with the intention of an audience. I’ve decided to share some of these reflections with you based on two desires:
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1) to remember I am not alone — sharing my raw thoughts and being vulnerable may allow me to connect with others who have similar thoughts/feelings/experiences (aka, I’d love to hear from you!)
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2) to remember I am not my ego — I believe we all have a right to share our opinions. However, for much of my life, even still, it’s been difficult for me to express myself out of fear someone will respond negatively. Being vulnerable and opening up with my potentially esoteric, or even controversial, thoughts is me facing that fear, and I understand it may very well cause my ego pain.
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To note, these entries are largely unedited, though if I’ve added/clarified anything, you will see a ‘[…]’.
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Sincerely,
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my Dying Ego
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February 9, 2022
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This morning, I woke up at 6am. There was a part of being like, aahh, I could totally go back to sleep. But there was also this slight feeling of curiosity… could there be a reason you might be excited to get up? You have no idea what’s going to happen today. So let’s find out! And all of these ideas […] you want to explore and carry out, how exciting is that?! And if you believed you were really capable of them? Then let’s just do it!
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The world is my oyster, and yes, I’m currently feeling a lot of waves tossing me around, but what if I looked at it all in a different way, what if I just saw that the ocean was playing with me, and that the whole experience was actually a lot of fun. Yes, eventually, I’ll figure out the ocean’s game and be able to have it stop tickling me, so I can breathe, but until then, I’ll embrace it’s humor and see what’s in store for me. It’s a wonderful world out there, if I can only just remember to see it [in that way.]
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Author Bio: Hi, I’m Bethany! For over a decade, I’ve been on a winding journey in search of healing. I created Love myHealth as an outlet to share my story and empower others. I’m passionate about all things health, but what intrigues me most, is the healing essence of an empowering mindset. Some of my favorite things in life include acro yoga, walking under the stars, life-changing conversations with strangers, and food (most notably: gluten-free pizza and nice cream.)