In my journal below, I discuss the idea of self-love and its importance on our healing journeys. That said, though I touch on it a bit, I’d like to say one more thing about the idea between self-love and selfishness.
Self-love often gets a bad rap in today’s world, because some see it as selfish. So fine, let’s consider that idea. Say you had told a friend you’d help her move, and instead, you decide to bail on short notice for a reason society says isn’t ‘enough’. Most would argue that reason, no matter what it is, to be selfish. Is it?
I’d say that it is. However, the idea that it’s selfish shouldn’t define it as being wrong to do. The real question is the intention behind one’s reason. Did you bail on your friend because you’ve been so depressed you can’t stop crying, or did you bail because you ‘just weren’t feeling it’, or did you bail because someone invited you to a party?
Now the interesting part. Of the potential reasons I listed above that you might bail on your friend, can you tell which are of the ‘right’ intention and which of the ‘wrong’ intention? Personally, I can’t distinguish them on a surface level. I think the only way to answer the question of intention is to search inside and feel into your own heart.
What do you think?
Dear Brave Soul,
Below is one of my personal journal entries, and as such, I’ve not written it with the intention of an audience. I’ve decided to share some of these reflections with you based on two desires:
1) to remember I am not alone — sharing my raw thoughts and being vulnerable may allow me to connect with others who have similar thoughts/feelings/experiences (aka, I’d love to hear from you!)
2) to remember I am not my ego — I believe we all have a right to share our opinions. However, for much of my life, even still, it’s been difficult for me to express myself out of fear someone will respond negatively. Being vulnerable and opening up with my potentially esoteric, or even controversial, thoughts is me facing that fear, and I understand it may very well cause my ego pain.
To note, these entries are largely unedited, though if I’ve added/clarified anything, you will see a ‘[…]’.
Sincerely,
my Dying Ego
March 9, 2022
Back to the idea of selfish love. It’s not selfish to love yourself, but it does depend on how you go about loving yourself. Again, as with everything, it’s the intention. If you’re loving yourself from this place of real love, then you ask yourself–your soul (not your ego) what it truly needs, and you hold strong through whatever that is, and give yourself that gift of love in whatever shape that comes in.
But that could be anything, and I’m not going to bypass the fact that loving yourself is so not easy. Not just because we’ve been programmed by society that any time we spend on ourselves is selfish and pointless, but because loving yourself requires doing hard things. Like setting boundaries, and creating habits that allow your mind, body, and spirit the space to grow and time to heal. Those things are not easy, because the results are long-term. And we often don’t realize how much they matter, until our health starts screaming at us to wake up.
And because our intuition is often so covered up or numbed, we may not even be able to feel into which direction healing and love lies… this again, makes me realize, Zette Harbour’s discovery: ‘Love Lies Beneath’. Love lies beneath healing. Because when we fully and truly love ourselves, we find each aspect of our being is in alignment, because love aligns with love. We are spirits of love, manifested into human form. We need to recognize our strength and who we are, and act in accordance. And when we do not, and fear comes in, so does the dis-ease. To heal, it is simple, release the fear, and find the power within you to return to love.
Author Bio: Hi, I’m Bethany! Over the past 12 years, I’ve been on a winding journey in search of healing. I created Love myHealth as an outlet to share my story and empower others. I’m passionate about all things health, but what intrigues me most, is the healing essence of an empowering mindset. Some of my favorite things in life include acro yoga, walking under the stars, life-changing conversations with strangers, and food (most notably: gluten-free pizza and nice cream.)