Last summer, I was living in Oakland. I had gotten off the train and was walking through a slightly rough part of town, when I came across a homeless guy with his shopping cart. He was walking down the middle of the sidewalk in front of me, and I decided to pass him on the street side. He ended up veering that way, so I instead paused, and went to walk around on the other side between him and a building. Only as I was going past, he tried ramming his cart into me. I skipped out of the way, and he immediately started shouting threats and calling me awful names (‘slut’ and ‘prostitute’ among them). Initially, I was alarmed, and quickly crossed to the other side of the street. Once I knew I was safe, my mind went from adrenaline rush back to what had happened. For the first split second, I asked myself: ‘Is my dress too short?’ But right after, my mind told me: ‘No, he’s just a homeless man with mental health issues.’

But hold on, let’s back up a second.

I had essentially told myself that the judgement from this man wasn’t of any value to me, because he had mental health issues. I had reasoned, and not incorrectly: poor mental health influences judgement, because it distorts mental clarity. However, many of us struggle with mental health; and most often, others as well as ourselves, don’t consciously recognize it and the role it plays in perception. As such, the majority take judgement to heart, because we don’t realize it tends to be biased.

The underlying truth is that we all see the world through different perspectives based on the circumstances we’ve previously lived through. This doesn’t make any one person’s viewpoint right or wrong—poor mental health or otherwise. The point is, when someone judges you, the worth you place on their judgement comes from your own judgement. How you perceive your judger determines how you value their opinion; and if you decide to value their opinion and allow it to affect your self-worth, you’re ultimately judging yourself. So, stop wishing others wouldn’t be so judgmental, because their judgement only means anything, because of your own.

Let’s start realizing we don’t all share the same life experiences; and we each fight our own mental battles. Therefore, it only makes sense we hold differing viewpoints. This means it doesn’t matter what kind of person you judge another to be, whether you believe them to be intelligent or stupid; experienced or inexperienced; kind or rude; sane or crazy—what they say only affects you because of your judgement of them! It doesn’t matter what another person says about you when it comes to your self-worth. If you allow it to affect your personal value, then you’re not living your truth, because living as your uniquely beautiful self requires you to release judgement and follow your heart.

If you decide there might be merit in what someone’s said about you—something that warrants your consideration as a way to improve yourself, then great! There’s always something to learn from others. The only catch is that you need to examine what they’re seeing through your own perspective before adjusting yourself accordingly. Only then can you remain as your true self, and not be living towards someone else’s (or society’s) standards.

Back to the incident with the homeless man.

I didn’t need to devalue his opinion of me, because of who I had judged him to be. Instead, I could have released judgement and simply allowed my power (of who I already knew myself to be) to refute any connection between myself and his name-calling.

* * * * *

The next time someone judges you, don’t judge them back. Step into your power and remind yourself of who you are. Your value does not change based on another’s opinion—whether you’ve decided (through your own judgement) it warrants your attention or not.

Author Bio: Hi, I’m Bethany! Over the past 10 years, I’ve been on a winding journey in search of healing. I created Love myHealth as an outlet to share my story and empower others. I’m passionate about all things health, but what intrigues me most, is the healing essence of an empowering mindset. Some of my favorite things in life include AcroYoga, walking under the stars, life-changing conversations with strangers, and food (most notably: gluten-free pizza and nice cream.)