It’s interesting to read back through this entry. I’m still working through creating solid habits, though I’ve certainly made progress since when I wrote this last year. And overall, I’m really proud of myself!
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That said, I’ve recently come to some new understandings that are allowing my paradigms to shift and for me to act with more authority over the direction of my life and what I accomplish. And to be honest, it was less to do with tough love, and more to do with connecting with my inner child, and understanding why she was rebelling–she didn’t necessarily need tough love, she just wanted to be heard and acknowledged.
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Dear Brave Soul,
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This is one of my personal journal entries, and as such, I’ve not written it with the intention of an audience. I’ve decided to share some of these reflections with you based on two desires:
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1) to remember I am not alone — sharing my raw thoughts and being vulnerable may allow me to connect with others who have similar thoughts/feelings/experiences (aka, I’d love to hear from you!)
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2) to remember I am not my ego — I believe we all have a right to share our opinions. However, for much of my life, even still, it’s been difficult for me to express myself out of fear someone will respond negatively. Being vulnerable and opening up with my potentially esoteric, or even controversial, thoughts is me facing that fear, and I understand it may very well cause my ego pain.
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To note, these entries are largely unedited, though if I’ve added/clarified anything, you will see a ‘[…]’.
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Sincerely,
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my Dying Ego
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October 1, 2021
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You have the authority to do what you want to do.
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nThese were the words that were in my mind as I came to from my meditation this morning. I was a little confused by their meaning, so I decided to look up the definition of “authority” – “the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience”. And I also took note that the word ‘authority’ contains the word ‘author’, which I like from the standpoint of knowing that I am the author of my life story. Seeing the definition though, I saw something that I needed.
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It’s the first of the month, and yesterday, my friend […] and I talked about how with setting our goals and intentions for the month, that we wanted to treat them with more respect and truly honor them in a new way. For so many years we’ve been trying to make habits out of the same things, but this time, we need to start proving to ourselves that we are capable of doing what we set out to do. We need to start building faith in ourselves. And when I look at the definition of authority within this context, I have the power to give orders (tell myself I’m going to achieve these goals), make decisions (decide how and when I will take action on these goals), and enforce obedience (put my foot down and hold strong about taking action when my ego wants to step away when the going gets rough or uncomfortable).
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I think that last part of authority is key: enforcing obedience. It sounds scary. The idea of having tough love is scary. […] and I talked about this, and she asked me why I thought these things, of being strict with yourself as scary. I forget exactly what I said, but thinking on it now, I feel that it’s scary because it causes me to step into an uncomfortable place, it causes me to change. If I just easily did the things I set for myself, then it wouldn’t be scary, but because I’m not, and I haven’t been for years, I need to be firm with myself. And that firmness that’s scary will be what causes me to step into the uncomfortableness of growth.
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Which is exciting! This morning has gone well so far, I even incorporated Wim Hof breathing. Though I am a little late with time… but what does time even mean? Anyway, it doesn’t quite matter, because I have extra time built into my day. And I’ve also been feeling that if my energy is one of calmness, then there’s less bouncing around of particles, which possibly uses time in a more efficient way. I’m not quite sure if that’s true, but I think I’m going to try it and see what happens, because something tells me it might be
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Off to my beach walk!
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Author Bio: Hi, I’m Bethany! Over the past 12 years, I’ve been on a winding journey in search of healing. I created Love myHealth as an outlet to share my story and empower others. I’m passionate about all things health, but what intrigues me most, is the healing essence of an empowering mindset. Some of my favorite things in life include acro yoga, walking under the stars, life-changing conversations with strangers, and food (most notably: gluten-free pizza and nice cream.)
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#willpower #selfcontrol #makethingshappen #persistence #habits #creatinghabits #followingthrough #timemanagement